QSFer A.L. Williams has a new queer paranormal romance out (bi) in the Scars series: “Eternal Scars.”
Be a good boy…
Great sex and a good time is all Ben wants. He doesn’t do complicated, which is why he can’t understand why pleading blue eyes won’t leave his thoughts.
You want to be a good boy…
Corbin’s life has finally settled after being thrown into a world of magic and lore. All he has to do is stay away from the green-eyed Adonis who brings him to his knees with a single look.
When the source of Ben’s magic comes in a wave of death and obsession, they’re shoved together under the same roof. Secret desires flare as they fight for their lives. Can they move beyond their doubts or are the Scars too deep?
Eternal Scars CAN be read as a standalone.
I kicked the door open, balancing several large binders and a bag of fast food. When it hit the wall, someone grabbed the bag and binders out of my hands. I offered a smile to Hayley and Gabriel following them further into the house. When we entered the living room, the sun shone low in the sky through the window, painting the clouds with violet and golden orange light.
She dumped the stuff onto the coffee table, and Gabriel straightened the pile before they both returned to their seats. Hayley flopped down on the couch, and Gabriel sat down next to her. I glanced at the television, seeing a familiar movie paused. It was a romantic comedy I’d seen more times than I was willing to admit.
Laura loved that movie.
I shook the thought off. “Sorry to interrupt. I would have stayed at work if I’d known you were on a date.”
Hayley rolled her eyes. “It’s not like you can’t come home just because we’re here.” She leaned into Gabriel who shifted, running their hand along their slicked back dark hair. They smiled at me, their white eyes and ebony skin catching the glint of the setting sun. “Would you like to join us?”
I returned the smile. “No. It’s all right. I have work to do.”
It was still strange having the angel who tried to kill me around. I’d forgiven them, knowing their actions were a fit of rage towards their brother, Lucifer.
I couldn’t blame them. Lucifer was the favorite according to scripture. Middle child syndrome was a real thing, and angels were no exception. That was also the case with gender identities. Gabriel was non-binary. It had taken me a minute to adjust. Growing up in Kentucky, I’d never been exposed to using they as a singular. It just felt awkward.
It didn’t matter, though. Gabriel had done the work to become a better person. I could at least try. They had become so much. It still surprised me. Gabriel went from a closed-off asshole to a loving, attentive friend. I don’t think I’d ever seen Hayley so happy. I was grateful. She’d spent so many years hurting.
Hayley frowned. “Come on. You need to stop bringing your work home with you.” She tugged at her tight skirt, which had ridden up. I frowned. I’d tried many times to get her to wear looser clothes, but she was just like her mother, stubborn.
I sighed. I don’t know how many times I’d had to tell her I owned a business. This was my life, and I liked it. I walked up to her. “Next time, okay?”
“Let him be,” Gabriel said.
Hayley met their gaze and something passed between them. “All right. Next time,” she replied, snuggling even closer into their side. They smiled at her, running their long fingers through her dirty blond hair. She closed her eyes and laid her head on their shoulder. Gabriel nodded at me, and then picked up the remote and settled back against the couch, holding her close.
My chest tightened, and I left the room, leaving them alone. When I walked into my room, I threw my coat onto my queen-sized bed in the center of the room against the wall. The frame was made of wood with flowers etched into it. Accompanied by matching end tables and a dresser with a large mirror attached.
Kicking off my shoes, I flopped onto the bed with a bounce and fell back. The gray comforter cooled my skin.
Laughter drifted through the door from the living room. I licked my dry lips. Hayley invited me to every date, especially after the drinking incident. I wasn’t a drinker, instead preferring a nice glass of iced tea and a book.
When mine and Laura’s anniversary came up, I found myself at the bottom of a bottle of whatever liquid was on special at a local dive bar on Fourth Ave. Most days, the pain was manageable, but every year, I’d find myself in a bottle at a bar until I was so numb, the pain was only a whisper.
I’d managed to keep those nights a secret from her for years, but Hayley and Gabriel’s date had ended sooner than expected. After, Hayley wouldn’t leave me alone, even with Gabriel’s insistence. I knew she cared. She always had, but what did she expect? The last thing I wanted was to watch them make out. It had been so long since I’d felt another’s touch that watching someone else cuddle wasn’t appealing. Laura’s soft voice drifted through my mind.
I love you so much.
I love you, too.
My eyes began to water, and I blinked the tears away, glancing at the closet. I stared, hearing laughter again, and then pulled myself to my feet. I opened the double doors and moved inside to the space, pulling out a box labeled Laura. I dragged it out and sat on the floor, searching through the assortment of Laura’s trinkets I was unable to part with.
Digging deeper, my hand touched a frame, and I pulled it out. I ran my finger along the glass, eyeing the person I used to be staring back at me. Laura’s hand was entwined with mine as we stared at the camera. I smiled. It was the happiest day of our lives, and it was evident in our wide smiles. Our blue eyes twinkled with joy and hope, something I had long since forgotten. She was pressed to my side, her veil swaying behind her. She was dressed in a long white gown, holding a bouquet of lilies the same shade of her dress. She was perfect in every way, and it was forever frozen. I’d give it all up if I could see that smile in person once again.
Tears trailed down my face as I tightened my grip on the frame, my hands trembling uncontrollably. Hadn’t I cried enough over the years? I craved sweet numbness again. I didn’t want to hurt anymore.
You deserve it.
You didn’t save her.
You didn’t save them.
I closed my eyes and let the pain wash over me, knowing I couldn’t outrun the nightly routine of crying myself to sleep. The frame fell back into the box, cushioned by one of the stuffed animals. I stood and shoved it into the closet. I considered a shower and decided against it, instead shedding my clothes and leaving a trail behind me as I returned to my bed. Another burst of laughter hit my ears as I collapsed onto the bed in just my briefs.
Cold metal pressed against my collarbone and I reached for it, holding up the golden cross around my neck. The cross that once hung on Laura’s neck, I bit my lip, holding back the sob threatening to escape and squeezed my eyes shut, my tears soaked the comforter. The drapes swayed from the cold air of the air conditioner, revealing the light of the moon, and like every other night, I cried until I fell into the darkness I prayed for every night.
My name is Alec Lee Williams, a trans #ownvoices artist. My pronouns are He/him/his. I have loved creating things ever since I can remember. My art is the visual and written expression of what is in my heart and mind. Show the world what social expectation and stigma it has created in regards to mental health. Mental illness and discrimination are a part of our history and it’s time the world sees it. The beautiful and the dirty. With my art, I want to show those who don’t have mental illness what it’s like. I want those that do have a mental illness, specifically queer POC, to relate and maybe even letting go of their trauma and triggers by seeing it displayed. I want them to know they are not alone. Now that I have decided to pursue writing my novels I hope will do the same.
Author Website: https://www.alecwilliamscreativeworks.com/