All of my life; I’ve been smitten with people, stories, concepts. They show a beauty, a talent, a skill; which transforms them into an ideal, something I aspire to.
If this ideal is a person, they become an idol.
Too often, my idols fall.
I’ve lost track of the number of artists, writers, and celebrities who’ve disappointed me. The disappointment can be brutal, when they reveal a cruelty, a bigotry, or a predatory nature.
I tell myself I shouldn’t be shocked. The clues about this hidden truth were there all along. I just didn’t pick up on them.
Were the clues really there? Too often I’m not the only one whose idol smashed themselves to pieces upon lofty expectations.
Our idols were, after all, human.
Why do I keep idealizing people?
More than one critic has pointed out that fans leave themselves wide open for heartbreak with our adoration for idols, based upon the idol’s public works.
This is true. We do leave ourselves open for heartbreak, just as we do whenever we fall in love.
People will disappoint us. I’ll disappoint them.
It’s not all disappointment, even if it’s hard to remember, when I’m processing that disappointment. There’s also the joy, the inspiration, the ideas we get from our idol’s art for our own.
I’ve flown high and drunk deep of an inspirational rush, due to my idols. Those natural highs have been among the best in my life.
Those moments are often tainted with shame, when the deeds of my idols are exposed, some of the pain they’ve also caused.
Should my memories of those moments be shameful? How much of my idealization, my inspiration came from my idols? How much of it came from me?
What do you think, dear reader?